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Tonight in New York City

Filed Under (Online) by Lucian Prejbeanu on 07-11-2011

times_square_new_york_americaTonight in New York City 2,657 people had sex with someone they thought they shouldn’t be sleeping with.

92 people took it up the ass for the first time, and 456 people strapped it on.

There were 47 bathroom blowjobs this evening, 322 fingerings in bar booths, and 67,543 kisses. Good kisses I mean.

Nearly 2 million people masturbated, 42 had sex with a religious artifact, and 1,249 people thought about someone other than the person they were fucking.

77 people had sex in wheelchairs, 2,622 people threw up from drinking, and 9 NYU Freshman got tied up, fucked, and promptly fell in love.

Over a million people said I love you and everyone peed. Except for Ron and Rebecca.

Tonight in New York there were 1,877 credit cards rejected, 466 first kisses, more daydreams than you can count, and enough tears to fill the fountain in Washington Square Park.

It was much like every other night.



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